Today’s post introduces a new post category for the Aerie, "Writing." I hope this won’t be the only article in this category, but I do hope all are helpful.
I’ve also categorized this article under "Soapbox" because it is a rant, of sorts. Yes, I am going to put on my grammar nazi hat. Sorry, I hate to do this, but it really is for your own good. (Well, if you see yourself in any of the following, anyway!) Besides, as I tweeted earlier this morning, I’m feeling rather cranky today (no clue why, either), so I may as well get this stuff out of my system.
English is a living language, but it doesn’t have to be a zombie!
Now that I have you all worried and such, relax! What I really want to do today is (I hope) educate you about some common errors people make when blogging (or speaking). Nitpicky? Probably. And to the argument I know some will advance (as I have, elsewhere), "English is a living language," I simply respond, "But it doesn’t have to be a zombie language."
Enough with the preliminaries, already! On with the show!
The Serial Comma
Yes, I realize an entire textbook chapter could be devoted to commas, but I’m going to just talk about one use: the so-called "Oxford comma." This is also known as the serial comma or Harvard comma. There is a myth that putting a comma before "and" is always wrong. Well, that’s wrong. When writing a list, it is never wrong to place a comma before "and."
Don’t fear the serial comma!
Some examples:
- I invited Sargeras, Jaina, and Arthas to lunch.
- I invited Sargeras, Jaina and Arthas to dinner.
- Various color combinations I considered were red and white, blue and yellow, and purple and gold.
All three of those examples are equally correct. In fact, the third example becomes downright ambiguous without the final comma. Don’t fear the serial comma!
Colons and Caps
Many of us use the colon in our writing. I could be accused of overusing (and probably misusing) both the colon and the semicolon (especially the latter). It helps that I know how to use them, and generally do so correctly. One common error I see is with respect to capitalization following a colon: If what follows the colon is a complete sentence, then the first letter after the colon is capitalized. (See what I did there?)
If, on the other hand, your construction is a list, then the first letter after the colon is not capitalized (unless, of course, it’s a proper noun!). The following example is illustrative:
I settled on three colors for my new blog theme: white, dark brown, and light yellow.
Simple, right?
Idioms
An idiom is generally a phrase unique to a language, for which the meaning can’t be deduced just from the definitions of the words in the phrase. However, idiomatic phrases do depend on particular words to form the phrase correctly. Unfortunately, some people hear a phrase incorrectly, and it shows up that way in their writing. Here are some examples to illustrate what I’m talking about:
- Correct: one and the same Wrong: one in the same
- Correct: once in awhile Wrong: once and awhile
- Correct: couldn’t care less Wrong: could care less
- Correct: all of a sudden Wrong: all of the sudden (no, really…this is wrong!)
American English vs. British/Canadian English
We’re all aware that American and British English have different spellings for many words; e.g., color/colour, honor/honour, truck/lorry, elevator/lift.1 *grin* But there are also different grammatical conventions, of which most people are unaware. For example, punctuation inside/outside quotation marks: Note the location of the comma in the following sentences. 2, 3
- American: I tried to find unusual uses of "and," but I was unsuccessful.
- British: I tried to find unusual uses of "and", but I was unsuccessful.
The rule of thumb I endorse is, if you’re an American, write American English. If you’re British or Canadian, write British English. If you’re an American writing for British publication (for example, in the British medical journal, The Lancet) get a British copyeditor! (And if your internal spell checker prefers "copy editor" to "copyeditor," as mine does, it needs one. A copyeditor, that is.)
However
"However" is probably one of the most overused words in the language. It’s probably one of the most misused, as well. For instance, I remember being taught never to start a sentence with "however."4 You could probably convert all your phrasing where "however" begins a sentence to make it begin a separate clause, but that can be unwieldy. However, when you do use the word mid-sentence, there is a right and wrong way. The following example shows how to use "however" correctly:
I love peaches and apricots; however, I don’t care much for peach or apricot pie.
Note the preceding semicolon (not a comma or colon!) and the following comma: Those are the elements needed to make the construction correct.
Me, myself, and I
Hoo boy, this is a big one! Most people use "me" correctly, when they use it. The problem is, they often replace it with "I" or "myself."
- Correct: The last two people invited to the raid were my wife and me.
- Wrong: The last two people invited were my wife and I. Even more wrong: The last two people invited were I and my wife.
- Still wrong: The last two people invited were my wife and myself. ("Myself" wasn’t invited. I was invited. They invited me.)
- Correct: My wife and I were the last two people invited to the raid.
- Wrong: My wife and me were finally invited to the raid.
- Correct: The last person invited was me.
- Wrong: The last person invited was myself.
- Correct: I did it myself.
Me and… (doesn’t matter what else follows; this construction is already an epic failure)
Especially in constructions of two or more people, an easy way to figure out correct usage is to leave the other person(s) out of the sentence and see which sounds better:
- "Tom and me went out." "Me went out." Ergo, "Tom and I went out."
- "They asked Tom, Mary, and I." "They asked I." Hence, "They asked Tom, Mary, and me."
"Myself" is a little harder, because its misuse is so widespread that it sounds right: "They asked for a paladin and myself." Once again, if you leave out the paladin, "They asked for myself" seems stilted at best, and downright painful at worst. They didn’t really ask for "yourself," they asked for you. "Who, me?" YES!
Another way to help keep things straight is to avoid passive voice: Put the object ("my wife and I") in front of the verb. In other words, have the object of your sentence perform the action, rather than have the action done to them. Chances are, you’ll get the correct pronoun, and your writing will be more alive!
Split Infinitives
In English, infinitives are naturally split.
I’m going to keep this simple: Don’t worry about it, unless you’re writing in Latin. In Latin, you can’t split an infinitive: The language just doesn’t work that way. In English, though, infinitives are naturally split (see what I did there, again?), so it’s no crime to do so. (And yes, infinitives can be split naturally, too.)
That’s That, or That Thing You Do
Want to know what word is used even more than "however"? Can you guess? That’s right! Go look at any blog article, and do a search on the word "that." For each use of "that," read the sentence without it. Probably nine times out of ten, the sentence reads just as easily, without any change in meaning.
And yes, of course, I just went through this article to ensure that all my thats help rather than hinder comprehension.
Conclusion
There are a lot of things I didn’t cover today, such as "than/then," "its/it’s," "that/which" and a myriad of other bugaboos and gotchas. Instead, how about you bring up your favorite foibles in the comments? (But be nice, please! Some people get pretty passionate about these things: Let’s respect that passion, and the people.)
- While I know that Australians and New Zealanders use British spellings, I really don’t know if they adhere to the same grammatical conventions, although I suspect they do. ↩
- Some may argue the comma is unnecessary, but even the latest edition of the Chicago Manual of Style (CMS) now acknowledges the common practice of indicating a verbal pause with a comma. ↩
- Just an aside: I recently learned (through watching House Hunters International on HGTV) that what we Americans call a "yard" the British call a "garden." My wife has a garden in our backyard; I’m not sure how an Englishman would phrase that: "There’s a vegetable garden in the back garden"? ↩
- Ditto for "and" and "but," but I do it all the time. It’s a convention in conversational writing, but probably not something you’d see in a scholarly text. ↩
Discussion on This Post
First I would like to say, Kes knows what the hell he is talking about. The man has edited some of my dribble and is a freaking grammar master. I will admit I am pretty much fail when it comes to grammar, but the only rule I remember from Stunk and White is the “possessive rule.” It is also the only rule I will normally catch it if broken.
Such as the possessive of a word ending is s does not have another ‘s at the end, only an apostrophe is added at the end. Such as, “Mr. Jones’ hat was green.”
Also, regarding let’s and the possessive “lets.” Often let’s is used when the author is trying to show the possessive of let, but uses the contraction “let us” instead.
I suspect…no, I know there will be a Part 2 (at least). I’ll try to capture a bunch of the comments, and a few that maybe aren’t commented. Such as your first sentence, Bre, and the fact it’s OKAY to end a sentence with a preposition. (Which reminds me: A proposal isn’t always a proposition.)
Of all the things I thought you were going to catch my use of “about” at the end of the first sentence was not what I was expecting. There are a few errors here, like the superfluous “if” at the end of the first paragraph and “does not have” instead of the “does not need”, I meant to write. I am sure, good sir, there are more, I am just too tired right now to dig.
Forever your humble student, am I
I need you to know that at this moment, you are my hero.
That said, my #1 pet grammar peeve would have to be misplacement of apostrophes resulting in all kinds of things being possessive that shouldn’t be. “All of the sudden” and “one in the same” are right up there.
Oh! And peaked/piqued.
.-= Stop´s latest blog post is Why I went back =-.
Oh damn…I had a brain dump early on in writing this, and “piqued/peaked/peeked” was one I forgot.
And yeah…apostrophes are beat to death…but I have a hunch I’ll be writing Part 2 of this essay soon.
Not so much a foible as another neat trick like the one that you mentioned for keeping Me, Myself, and I straight…
“and then” is a useless construct. In every case, what the writer REALLY means to say is either “and” or “then”.
“We had lunch, and then we had coffee” is better written as “We had lunch, then we had coffee.”
In a lot of ways, this is more of an opinion thing than a rule, but it’s a test that I try and put my writing through to strengthen it.
Also, I am guilty of extranneous commas. If I want the reader to pause mentally, I’ll add a comma. Frequently, this can be considered sentence abuse, and I’m still working on fixing it. (SEE, the comma before the “and” shouldn’t be there! ARG)
.-= Tami´s latest blog post is New Short Story – Murder =-.
God, I am guilty of the “and then” !
*Scribbles note “punch self if use that construct again”*
Hey! Be careful with that punching; we don’t want to hurt Peanut!
No punching near Peanut, promise! that
Tami, if you follow the links to Deanna Hoak’s blog, you’ll find an article (I think it’s the Zen one) that talks about commas as pauses, as well as uses of “and.”
Basically, for the kind of stuff we write, it’s generally all good.
Despite your horrid taste in beer, I love you, man. Especially after posts like this.
Wait…there was a beer post last month; comment over there if you wanna talk beer, zombie!
Ok, crappy liking beer boy. How about these ridiculous foibles of the English language?
Then vs Than
Your vs You’re
Its vs It’s
And a mistake my wife used incessantly for 8 of our 11 years of marriage (until she FINALLY started understanding what I meant) was “I beg to defer” when we would disagree about a particular topic. It literally took 8 years of defining the difference between “defer” and “differ” before she got it. One of the smartest women I’ve ever met, and she couldn’t get that right to save her life.
.-= Arrens´s latest blog post is Da Doctas Clinic =-.
Maybe she actually was deferring to you? But after 8 years she finally said to hell with it and started differing. (I know it wouldn’t have taken me 8 years!)
Two of those three I think we have already identified for Part 2; I’ll add the third as well.
This post is relevant tomy interests.
Also: http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i95/oriniwen/Spelling-DictionaryNazi.gif
.-= Oriniwen´s latest blog post is And the Horse You Rode In On =-.
Hah! Great pic.
I forgot to mention my main reference, and the copyeditor’s bible, is Web11 (Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, 11th Ed.), also called MW11, or just MW.
However, I’d love to have a copy of the O.E.D. too.
One that I’ve been seeing recently is have/of.
Should have / should of
Could have / could of
Must have / must of
Of is the wrong word here people.
.-= Maerdred´s latest blog post is Never ever have I ever =-.
Ahh, that’s another good one, Maer! Again, it’s what people here (and, I suspect, because they either weren’t taught well/correctly, or didn’t pay attention).
should’ve != should of, et cetera.
A guy I was dating once upon a time told me that there’s nothing sexier than a woman that knows how to use a semicolon. I remember that every time I use one, to this day. I wonder if anyone else out there appreciates my semicolon skills.
Also, I have a new crush. <3 Kes.
Awww… <3 Seri!
I am a bit timid about talking about semicolons, even though I use them so. damned. much. However, I think that pretty much means I should put my money where my mouth is. So in Part 2 (or 3) I promise to talk about them.
My problem is, I use them too often when a period would be more effective. (Or at least would break up the sentence into more manageable parts.)
I’m also pretty liberal with parenthetical statements (in case no one noticed).
I frequently see “then” and “than” confused, which drives me crazy…
WRONG: I like this article better THEN that one
CORRECT: I like this article better THAN that one.
The “I” vs. “me” is also a pet peeve (I less frequently see the misuse of myself). I wonder if this is a result of the misuse of I vs. me being so frequently referenced. I think people are aware that misuse of “I” vs. “me” is a common grammatical error. Furthermore, I think that the use of “me” is the more intuitive usage. I get the impression that people so often mistakenly use “I” (e.g., They invited Tim and I to the raid) because they know that “I” and “me” are frequently misused and they err on the side of the less intuitive usage, which, in fact, is incorrect. What are your thoughts?
/crosses fingers, hoping that in typing haste, no major grammatical errors have occured…
P.S. I am known for abusing commas. Damn those little buggers!
P.S.S. One or two spaces after a period?
P.S.S.S. Two spaces after a colon!!
First, I’ll address grammar, then typography.
Grammar: I agree with you on the “why” of I/me misuse, or a lot of it. As youngsters, we said “Him and me” and got our knuckles rapped: “HE and I!!” So now we use “I” when “me” is the correct form. I could go into another essay on the Laws of Learning (and put my undergraduate psychology degree to good use, as well). But what it boils down to is we were preached to about HOW, but not WHY. Without the latter, the former got corrupted. I’m doing my part for the WHY.
Typography: Back in the days of typewriters (yes, I used one all through college), we only had monospaced fonts.
Monospaced font is like this Andale Mono, where all the letters, numbers, and punctuation have the same width. For readability, the rule was to double-space after a period or colon. To wit: There are two spaces following the periods and colon in this sample.However, with the advent of computerized typography, readability is built into the fonts we generally use through proportional spacing and kerning. Therefore, when typing with a proportional font, as we do 99.9 percent of the time, the correct typography is to put a single space after a period or a colon.
Need more evidence? Pick up any piece of printed material that uses proportional type: book, magazine, newspaper. You’ll note that the width of the spacing after periods and colons may vary, but it is alway a single space. The varied width appears if the text is “justified” (most books, newspapers, and some magazines), but is generally consistent if the text is left-aligned (this blog, for example).
Incidentally…
P.S., or more correctly, PS or ps, stands for “postscript” or “after the text” (from the Latin postscriptum). Follow-on postscripts, then, would more properly use “PPS” and “PPPS,” although to be most correct, you would not be faulted for successive uses of “PS”.
Normally, PS is seen in a letter after the close and signature. It can also, as seen above, be used as a stylistic device; but again, “PPS” and “PPPS” are more correct.
That reminds me of all those tedious syntax courses I had to take.
Funny thing is that they wouldn’t let us write our master thesis in English until one year ago. The department? English Literature. You get me..
Regarding misspellings: You haven’t suffered until you joined trade chat on a German server. Not only that some kiddos don’t know how to spell German words.. About half of the server population is unable to spell the word “daily” correctly: dailie, deiliy, deily, and – the most beloved version of all – dayli. Derived from “day”. “li” as in.. well.. whatever.. suffix? Whaddayatalkinabout? It’s sooo uncool to use the proper German words instead of “dayli hero” (sic!)..
(English is mandatory in most schools here from 5th grade on..)
Unfortunately, even on US servers, “daily” is abused, and the plural even moreso.
I was talking with a friend today, whining that I wish I’d learned more German while I was living there in the mid-80s. However, we certainly appreciated that most Germans our age and younger were fairly fluent in English.
Anyone who has to learn English as a second language has my sympathy; after cannibalizing just about every other Indo-European language over the millenia, it’s a wonder we English-speakers can even understand ourselves (cf. American vs. British English)!
I guess the only thing you can take away from (what I hope is) the knowing misuse of English is that the kids really do know better. Maybe?
Thanks for commenting, Myna! It’s always enlightening to get the perspective of a non-native speaker.
The thing is: They don’t know better and refuse to listen to someone who knows better. Even if this knowledge is brought to them in the least “grammar nazi” kind of ways.
I once had a very enlightening conversation with one of the dayli-users. He seemed like a really nice guy but completely failed in grasping the concept of adjective derivation. It’s the exact same thing in German. Day = Tag, -ly = -lich but daily and täglich. Woohoo, vowels change! No? Maybe?
Thanks to all those Americans who were in Germany in the 80s and 90s I was able to get my tiny hands on nachos and cheese dip and oreos and a really simple way to get some English basics. Sweets and chips make six-year-olds learn new languages pretty fast.
Luckily, I also learned Latin and French so I know some of the languages that English “stole” from. Yet the influence that modern day English has on our language is by far more creepy. Mobile phone = Handy as well as all those business terms that no person, not even with a profound knowledge of both languages, will ever understand.
Thank you for the German lesson!
I always thought the -lich suffix was probably something like our -ly but I never really explored it much. I really regret I was working so hard when I was in Germany that I didn’t take advantage of opportunities to better learn the language.
And so glad I was among those able to introduce you to the wonders of a killing diet. :p
I freaking love you. My number one pet peeve is grammar, especially the serial commas. I had an English teacher a few years ago who drilled this into us so hard that we all thought it was stupid. Apparently it’s paying off
.-= Icedragon´s latest blog post is Lack of Guild and Abundance of Drafts =-.
Who knew grammar was such a romantic topic! *grin*
Ummm…ouch. I hope those of you who “subscribed to comments” for this post didn’t get inundated with all my edits to my reply to Malgato. I got an email for each time I went in and edited that comment. Holy comment spam, Batman!
My apologies if you got all those, too.
“While I know that Australians and New Zealanders use British spellings, I really don’t know if they adhere to the same grammatical conventions, although I suspect they do”
Ummm.. Grammar?
The education department gave up in the 70′s.. can’t learn us Aussies no proper grammar…
Something I discovered when I tried to learn Spanish.. then French and they were using all these weird grammatical terms I couldn’t remember.
That said, English (British) form is considered correct and US is acceptable…
Aussie English is of course completely frowned upon in endumakated circles, but is the only way to speak on the street
.-= Gnomeaggedon´s latest blog post is Sharing your WoW experience for a noble cause =-.
Ouch. I blush reading this list. I’m pretty sure I break some of those rules constantly. Not to mention the really silly things, such as writing “to” when I mean “too”. Sigh. I haven’t even bothered to try to write British English or American English. I’m happy if my ramblings can pass for ANY kind of English.
I hide behind not having it as my native tongue. But sometimes I feel frustrated about it. When I write in Swedish I take pride in good writing that isn’t just gramatically fairly correct, but also pleasant and easy to read.
.-= Larísa´s latest blog post is Should Guilds be Democracies? =-.
I constantly have to remind myself that english isn’t your first language – all of your posts are so easy to read and entertaining.
<3
.-= Tami´s latest blog post is New Short Story – Murder =-.
What Tami said! It was a long time before I realized English is NOT your first language!
Considering how badly we native-speakers brutalize our own language, I never criticize non-natives who are at least making a serious effort.
Don’t change a thing, Larisa! <3
Hey Kestrel,
A greatly appreciated post. You reminded me of some niceties I’ve gotten lazy about in my own writing.
But, as a patriotic Canadian, I have to protest: “If you’re British or Canadian, write British English.”
Umm, no. Canadian English has evolved its’ own style, and doesn’t adhere to either British or American rules. Just to twist the knife a bit, in the example where you gave the above advice, Canadian usage actually puts the comma INSIDE the quotation marks – the opposite of British.
But no worries. If Canadian readers really want to show their Canadian style, there are handbooks of Canadian English, eh, and our own copy of the Canadian Oxford Dictionary that will steer them safely past the shoals of “too American, too British,” safe home to “Canadjin.”
Cheers,
Kriyet
Thanks for the correction, Kriyet
And once again I have proved the old adage about what happens when you assume. 
I suspect Canadian English owes a lot to British usage, but has also shared with their southern neighbors. And of course, don’t forget that it isn’t really spelled, “aboot.”
BTW, I wanted to add how much I’m enjoying the look of your site these days. I normally read you through my Google Reader, and miss the great graphics and layout, so when I click through on an item, I marvel.
Great job!
Thanks! Glad you decided to stop by “in person,” as it were. (Now there’s an idiom I should explore…)
Hey, just wanted to say I loved this post! I really like the mix of WoW and real world and “internet/blog world” posts on your blog
One thing that bugs me is “its” versus “it’s”… and apostrophes are so abused in general! I’ve also only recently cottoned on to the whole “that” thing. I’m so paranoid about my “that”s now, but it’s good to be a bit more critical about my writing.
Australians do follow British grammar, I believe. We definitely keep our apostrophes out of quotation marks (it looks so funny seeing them in there)!
.-= Mazil´s latest blog post is These are a few of my travelling things. =-.
Oops…I thought I replied to this earlier, Maz. “It’s” and “its” are everyone’s favorite oops to point to, so I included it in this week’s Friday Five post. Thanks also for the nice compliments–always great to hear! And glad to see you’re enjoying your trip to England!