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Obsidian Throne: WIP Update #4 | Kestrel's Aerie

Obsidian Throne: WIP Update #4 | Kestrel's Aerie

Obsidian Throne: WIP Update #4

Steve_90x86

Welcome to Daylight Saving Time. My sympathies to you who had to get up early this morning. On the other hand, those of us in more northerly climes can celebrate the imminent arrival of grill season! Here in Rapid City, we’re enjoying our  fifth straight day of highs in the 40s or better (and 60 degrees on Wednesday!). To those of you in more temperate climates, we don’t want to hear about it! It’s bad enough I have to see all your Joy of Spring tweets.

In other news, my alma mater, UCLA, is a seven-seed in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, while the women’s team should be a #2-seed. I just hope the women don’t get sent to the same region as UConn. And yes, I’ll be watching a lot of basketball later this week.

Excuse me? You’re not here for weather and sports news? My, what a tough crowd. But alright…on to the meat of the matter. (That really doesn’t sound right for some reason, but I don’t feel like making it prettier. And no, “heart of the matter” was considered and discarded. See “grill season,” above.)

When last we talked (well, I talked; you listened…okay, I wrote, and you read…you are a picky lot!), I had resolved to let Throne sit for a bit. I glanced at it a couple times later in the week, but Scrivener gave me a dirty look in a “don’t go there” manner, so I didn’t. Understand, I wasn’t blocked, per se. There were plenty of ideas floating around, and putting some of them on (virtual) paper would have been relatively simple, but I just wasn’t inspired. Or very enthused. Instead, I cogitated.

Finally, on Saturday, I started a couple things. First, Tami suggested I write in first person, then go back and rewrite in third person. Second, as I’m sure you gathered, I wasn’t happy moving Connor’s dream to the start of the book (even though Naithin drafted a pretty compelling version in a comment to the last update article). Instead, I wanted to try to maintain something close to the original opening, but change it to a much more compelling premise for Connor’s banishment from his home in Rockbridge (and hence the beginning of his journey). So instead of merely giving his tormentor (Dekeng, by name) a scratch, Connor (accidentally) put Dekeng’s eye out!

I managed to write around 1,600 words along those lines in first person; I’ve yet to go back and rewrite in third person. That should happen this afternoon or this evening. In addition, I need to spruce up the scenes a bit: After all, Dekeng’s friends or relatives should probably be a bit upset with Connor, don’t you think? Nary a peep about that, so far. Now, one or two of the other plot details introduced in the very first version of Throne are, by necessity, omitted in this latest rewrite (they weren’t in the dream version, either), so I need to figure out how important they are, and whether or not I need to shoehorn them back into the story.1

Of course, now I need to go back and reexamine the chapter I wrote from Liara’s PoV, to be sure it’s consistent with the new beginning. I don’t think that should prove too challenging, though, since there is almost no flashback to Connor’s PoV. I think. I hope.

One more thing…

Although I haven’t written many grammar and usage articles of late, I’m always up for such a discussion. If there are any usage questions you’d like me to discuss, either in a reply to a comment, or in a separate article, please feel free to email me or ask in the comments. Of course, I may include the occasional grammatical commentary at the end of these updates, as well (even if you don’t ask!). So if you don’t want to hear me rail against two spaces after a period every week, keep those cards and letters coming. :)

  1. I realize that most of what I say regarding the plot would make a lot more sense to most of you if you read the original draft, but that isn’t going to happen. Sorry.
 

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5 Responses to Obsidian Throne: WIP Update #4
  1. Tami
    March 14, 2011 | 13:41

    You’ll actually get more out of my suggestion if you “edit” the first person you write into being third person, if that makes sense. (As opposed to completely rewriting in third person using a blank page).

    Also? Hooray for grilling season and writing (and probably basketball and weather as well). ^_^

    Can’t wait to read what you write (and see pictures of what you’ve grilled)

    *lovemuffins*
    Tami recently posted Weddings- As Seen From The BackseatMy Profile

    • Steve
      March 14, 2011 | 13:53

      Ahhh, okay…misunderstood (or, more likely, misread) your original email. :P

      We actually grilled a steak the other night…but not until after I shoveled 4″ of snow off the back deck.

  2. Naithin
    March 19, 2011 | 15:14

    Beginning to think I may need to take the same approach to accountability as you are with your writing, and actually showing parts of it here and there.

    Because honestly, I’ve still been really terrible with follow through.

    I have the NaNo MS sitting there showing that I can get a large number of words which chain into paragraphs, scenes, chapters and story threads . . . yet it seems starting again outside the context of NaNo where the whole ‘It’s OK to Fail’ culture permeates is just that much harder.

    Will see, I guess. xD

    Either way, I certainly can’t wait to see more of yours! Perhaps trying to help out where I can will allow me to get back to my own stuff… It could go the other way too, but let’s not dwell there! :P
    Naithin recently posted Review- The Wise Man’s FearMy Profile

    • Steve
      March 19, 2011 | 15:20

      Carve out an hour a day. Shouldn’t be difficult: You just need to tell yourself that hour for writing is more important than whatever else you’d otherwise be doing. And if you can’t do it every day, commit to a set number of days per week.

      (Now you understand one of the reasons I stopped playing WoW.) *grin*

  3. Mazil
    March 21, 2011 | 21:19

    So instead of merely giving his tormentor (Dekeng, by name) a scratch, Connor (accidentally) put Dekeng’s eye out!

    Wuh!! Having just read through your original intro (and remembering your comments about needing to amp up the reasons Connor was leaving town), I did actually wonder whether another plot possibility would be for Connor to seriously injure the bully.

    It brought to mind the “save the cat” premise, and I wondered what it would mean to have your hero do something bad in the first few chapters, rather than something good… makes for an interesting plot element :)

    Some other questions I’ve had—not sure if these might help?—I wondered why the villagers expel Connor instead of just punishing him. Is there something taboo or cursed about someone without magic (in that village)? Or maybe they’re extremely pacifist? (What are the traditions around making someone exiled?)

    I must admit I have only really just started reading, but I’m enjoying it so far :) And very curious to see what happens with the magics!

    Also, I very much admire how you are toiling away at editing. After being crazy busy for a few months (and using that as a valid excuse for not editing), I’ve finally started to have a little more time on my hands, and… it seems I have editing stage-fright. I think I need a National Novel Editing Month to push me through! >_<
    Mazil recently posted The Allure of eReadersMy Profile

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